Ugh! Summer is almost over. Last night was bad, really bad. Couldn’t sleep, wanted to eat. Some physical hunger, but a lot of it just emotional hunger. Ate one microwaved veggie burger….then 2 pieces of dense (large) toast with butter and raspberry preserves….had already had 2 bowls of rocky road ice cream last night – WHILE WATCHING T.V.
Right now I am very hungry – about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being STARVING and 10 being STUFFED. I had a large glass of carrot juice not long ago but all it seemed to do was make my hunger stronger.
I worked on my photo project some last night – not with cameras and film and models and lights but doing some research for it. I spent some time looking up early horror films and was inspired by a lot of shots. I feel a little better that I did some work towards the project but it still feels daunting and I feel anxious about it since I want it to be successful. I need to make it big and over-the top but run the risk of being cheesy – I want it to be much more psychological than kitshy.
Gerry and I did the caueway for the first time this summer yesterday. It kicked my ass – my legs are sore and I felt heavy…but the extra caffine before-hand helped. Instead of stopping in the middle and turning around which we discussed possibly doing before we began our trek – instead I listened to my body and knew I could push myself further, thinking of the Biggest Loser contestants.
I want to listen to my body. I realize lately that I begin to feel anxious at night and that is usually when I do my over eating.
Oops – gotta go check on the roasting broccolli, carrots and potatoes – they are starting to smell good from 2 rooms away – dont want them to burn!
Broccoli is done (no parmesan cheese, just dressed with zest from 1/2 lemon and 1/2 lemon’s worth of juice, one more quick spray of olive oil). Pretty good. Carrots and potatoes need more time.
Anyway. I feel done with these feelings. Happy to have some down time while Gis at Barnes and Nobles w/A taking an ebay lesson. Going to go eat my brocolli and try to enjoy and not judge myself so much.
